Caution: Speeds in Excess of Threshold may cause Permanent Damage

It started with a scratch. One on the left knee. The other on the arm. I stuttered from my stumble and wiped the blood sprinkling from the wound. It reminded me of those times I laughed at the slippery floor signs, only this time the pain drowned my overeager skater-boy tendencies. Those wheels were meant to turn, and Newton told me long ago that for every motion there is a counter-motion. I was that counter-motion. Fast-forward a few clips ahead, and you'd see me hanging outside the gliderport wiping saturated sunscreen from my chemically oxidized eye. It was more painful than blood, more acute than a cute asian, and vividly hallucinogenic. Just imagine my eye being one of those globes you spin at the pawn shop, only less entertaining and more personal. I dosed my eyelid with borrowed deli-shop water, enough to let the thick solution slowly drain out, leaving the world half-open and ugly for at least ten minutes. It couldn't compare to injuries to come, but at least it was a warmup for getting the stomach peeled by a surfboard and letting otherwise tolerable sun turn your back into a crispy crust. That ten story bluff didn't do much to convince you otherwise, for the space between your legs had rubbed dry from a salted exterior. I believe it was excruciating enough to bite the lip and shout explicatives at speedier travelers. For a little entertainment, you lost some pride. But, for a lot of entertainment, you'd be needing more to justify the part of you that you left in the sand. Physically punished, I wave my caution flag; you're just too fast for this world.